Might Need a Tissue for This One

Noah spiked a fever on Saturday afternoon. We were sitting in Friendly's waiting (and waiting) for our food when Noah leaned into my arm, and I could feel the heat radiating from his little face. His temp ended up being 101.6 - poor kid. He just laid on the couch the rest of the afternoon and even fell asleep - which we all know is completely uncharacteristic for that boy of mine.

He's slept next to me for the last four nights - waking up every hour or so, sweating, coughing, crying...I took him to the doctor yesterday who assured me that it's probably allergies with a touch of croup. He woke up around 11 o'clock last night with that barking cough again (oh, and spiked a fever later on - definitely not allergies). I turned on the hot shower in the bathroom to let it get steamy and held Noah in the dark, his arms heavy around my neck, swaying side to side, humming, thinking of how I used to do this when he was a baby. My baby boy - now a whopping 45 lbs and going to school - riding the bus even. I thought about how it won't be much longer that I'll be able to hold him like this. My arms began to ache just holding him for a few minutes last night until I finally had to stop swaying and sit on the toilet seat lid. He curled into me even more, bringing his legs in and sitting "criss-cross applesauce" on my lap.

Being that I haven't had much sleep for a few days and that I am a sap of a mama any way, the tears were flowing - mine this time...not his.  This growing up thing is hard on a mom. As much as I love to see my kids learn and their talents develop, there's a tiny part of me that aches for that snuggly baby sleeping on my chest. Every phase has been amazing to watch - from taking first steps to writing their names, and even now it's neat to see how confident they are and how they've become more independent, especially Abby. She is just loving school. She was beside herself with excitement when she found out she was chosen to be a student council representative. Her reaction was the cutest thing, and I couldn't be more proud of her. But man...time goes by so fast.

Pat is always reminding me that they are still little...and I know that they are. They still need their mama. I've had to stop writing this post twice in the last five minutes because Noah got stuck in a hiding spot and then Abby stepped on a LEGO ( - that is never pleasant). It's just a mom thing I guess....or maybe a sleep-deprived sappy mom thing, and I'm sure it doesn't get any easier the older that they get. I just need to toughen up a little bit - treasure the past and savor the present...

and get in as many snuggles as I can before it's not so cool to hug your mom at the bus stop.