PSF & Summer Wish List Revisited

With less than three weeks left until school starts (starts later in PA than AL - yay!), I've been trying to make up for some summer fun lost due to packing, cleaning, moving, unpacking, more cleaning... Once the kids are in school, I'll have all of the uninterrupted time in the world to get things better organized and decorated. So this past Monday, I took the kids to Friendly's for GIGANTIC sundaes, then played a round mini-golf, and ended up browsing around at Barnes and Noble. Much more fun than being stuck in a house surrounded by boxes.

I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself. When I think about it, we have done quite a few things on our Summer Wish List that we came up with back in May...

 

And who says the fun has to stop once school starts? Technically, summer is not over until late September so I'm hoping to take a few Satur-"daycations". There's an amusement park not too far from here, and the beach is only a couple of hours away! September weather will probably be great for camping too. We have a state park just a couple of miles down the road - definitely need to take advantage of that.

It will be fun to see which wish list items the kids enjoyed most and help them "keep their summer learning" using this new Fishful Thinking activity: The goal of the conversation is to help your child name at least one thing they loved doing over the summer, then set a goal for building on what they learned during the school year.

As for me? All of my favorite activities seem to involve dessert.

For more summer fun photos, check out GMYBPSF!

Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

Fishful Thinking Thursday - "Be the Change!"

Last week, Abby and Noah were invited to "Panda-mania" - aka Vacation Bible School - by one of Abby's best buddies. They loved it!!! Songs, crafts, games, "Chatter Chipmunk" theater, cupcakes...they had a great time.

I wasn't quite sure how Noah would do being that he has never gone to preschool, and the only time he's really been away from his mama is during Primary at church, but with a little bribery for letting go of Mommy (worked 4 out of 5 days) and "no strikes" during VBS, he did surprisingly well. (And I did too...for the most part.)

The "Panda-Mania" program was FREE - gotta love that! The only thing they encouraged was for the kids to donate gently-used or new backpacks for a school that the church sponsors in Haiti and if we could bring in change to help with other supplies and shipping costs.

Abby and Noah kept reminding me to give them coins and get a backpack to send in by Friday. Sure enough, by the end of the week, there had to be at least 100 backpacks all stacked up on the stage waiting to be sent off. Almost 200 kids also made beaded necklaces and collected a big bucket full of change - all for these school kids in Haiti.

In Fishful Thinking newsletter for June - Raising Socially Responsible Children - Dr. Karen Reivich explains that "Social responsibility is the commitment to bettering the good of a larger social unit—your community and the world—rather than oneself" and encourages families to sit down together and plan a SIMPLE summer service project where everyone (big or small) can pitch in and "Be the Change you wish to see in the world" (– Mahatma Gandhi). The kids at VBS definitely got a jump on that!

On our last faculty call, I was able to chat a bit with Dr. Reivich and the other faculty moms about the tornadoes that swept through our area and caused so much devastation. As mentioned in the newsletter, "In response to these tragedies, many families create opportunities to talk about the importance of helping others and working together as communities," and I have seen it first hand. So many amazing people and families have come together to help those recovering from these storms. As a family, we've been able to contribute as well and continue to keep those who have lost so much in our prayers.

On a lighter note, Dr. Reivich also points out that "there are plenty of non crisis-based opportunities to help our children learn that we, as a people, are in this together. For example, participating in Earth Day events, taking a 20-minute walk to pick up litter, helping a neighbor plant flowers, and inviting a new family over for dinner, all demonstrate to our children that we care about others and the world, and how we can put this caring into action."

There's a great worksheet right here that you can use to brainstorm ideas and come up with a service project that fits your family. I am interested to hear the kids' answers #4 and #5. I bet Abby's will have something to do with animals, the earth, or helping "poor people to get more money" ( - she always asks that in her prayers)...but Noah? You never know with that kiddo.


*If your family is interested in completing a simple service project along with mine, please leave a comment or email and let me know. I'd love to host a link-up near the end of summer where we can share our  "Be the Change " experiences!

Spring Into Action: Simple Service Ideas for Kids!

Last week, we were invited, along with a bunch of other families from church, to put together hygiene kits to help the relief effort in Japan. The kids and I went to the store where they helped pick out toothpaste, bar soap, hand towels, etc...to add to the pile of supplies that were being collected at this family's home.

There were probably 50-60 people - moms, dads, teenagers, elementary kids, toddlers - all gathered together to help. Those kids were EXCITED!  They all had their giant zip-lock bags in hand ready to make the kits! Along with this project, the kids also made Easter cards- complete with foamie stickers - for the local children's hospital that the family would deliver.

After the kits were made and the cards were decorated, we all had cookies, and the kids played outside for a bit. Such a simple way to serve as families! It was awesome.

It doesn't take a lot of preparation to give in simple ways. This activity reminded me of the We-Can Club ideas from Fishful Thinking - one of my absolute favorite things about the site! Click the link read more about how we can cultivate optimism and hope in our kids (and our families) by helping them to do good!


*Have any simple service ideas or experiences? Thanks for sharing! 

A Fishful Thinking Photo Story: "In the Tent"

When I was a kid, my brother and I loved to make tents in the middle of the living room. We'd pull the four barstools from the kitchen, flip over our two "bionic chairs" (aka banana chairs) and place them across the top of the stools to create a dome effect, and then drape sheets over everything.

We'd play board games, draw pictures, sneak in snacks, and tell spooky stories - good times.

These days, my kids are the ones completely taking over the living room (with a little help) -

and sometimes, if the tent is BIG enough, I'll even crawl in there with them.

Being "in the tent" with your child while cuddling with a book/playing with action figures/doing a puzzle, and focusing that time just on him/her was one of the Time and Presence activities that Dr. Karen Reivich talked about during the Fishful Thinking webinar last week - interestingly enough!  (If you missed it - or some of it - click here to download and listen.)

"Most parents find it challenging to create space for simple experiences of togetherness. Real-world distractions, internal chatter, “to do” lists – undercut our ability to be with our children without an internal (and perhaps external) sense of fidgeting." 

You can say that again.

Even though, this past year, I have been fortunate to have extra time with my kids by trying out homeschooling, I still have those moments where I am thinking about other things - needing to answer an email, make a phone call, reply to a text (& I am the world's slowest texter), put in a load of laundry, clean up the kitchen, take a SHOWER...the list goes on.

But in those moments when I intentionally put those things out of my mind and fully engage with my kids - whether it's an activity we've planned ahead of time or an everyday routine, it becomes a different experience. I feel a truer sense of joy and togetherness. And I'm sure they feel it too.

As Dr. Reivich spoke about - "Connectedness" is a key factor in promoting resilience in children. Our kids need to feel that we are present and in the moment with them. Of course, we have to set realistic expectations so we are not plagued with "mom guilt"(which we all know and love) because we can't "connect" ALL the time - as I have to remind myself. Still, there are many everyday moments (car ride, trip to the store, dinnertime) that can be taken advantage of to talk, laugh, and enjoy one another.

As always, I got so much out of the information presented during the webinar and the discussion between Dr. Reivich and my Fishful Thinking pals.  It really reaffirmed my answer to this question that was posed in preparation for the event -

How do you think about the time you share with your children? What do you value about time? What are your goals in relationship to your time together?

I feel like each day I have with my kids is a gift. They are the greatest blessings in my life. Because time passes so quickly, it's important to me to make the most of it whether it's baking cookies, reading stories, playing outside, etc... Just enjoying simple, every day things together as well as creating fun family memories and traditions. Spending quality time together strengthens our bond as a family and creates a support system by building trust and faith in one another. I also always want my kids to know that they are most important to me and that I will always have time for them no matter how old they are. And hopefully, they will continue to want to spend time with me - even during those teenage years.

A mom can dream, right?

Linked up with my Fishful Thinking friends this week. 

Cecily's take on moments that count is truly special - a must read!

Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

Valentine's Day Service Idea for Kids!

Looking for a fun Valentine's activity to do with your kids?

I just emailed a bunch of moms about this last night. If you want to do it too, feel free to copy and paste the email and save yourself a little time. :) 

Hi everyone!

This a bit of short notice, but we'd like to invite you guys over to make some Valentines with us this Friday between 3:30 and 5pm for the Children's Hospital. What better time than Valentine's Day to show some extra love for others?

If you have any extra card-making supplies - stickers, foam shapes, paper, fun scissors, crayons, etc...,please bring them with you!  I figure between all of us, we'll have plenty of supplies for the kids to make a couple of cards each. You can stay the whole time or just pop in for a little while - whatever works for you! 

I will deliver the cards to the Children's Hospital either on Saturday or Monday morning. Please email or call and let us know if you can make it! We hope to see you Friday!

Thanks!

I've already heard from two families who are coming. Hopefully, we'll get a few more to join in too.   This may just be the start of a new Valentine's tradition!

*For more ideas on how kids can CONTRIBUTE, check out Fishful Thinking's We Can Club activities! 
 

Did you know that GOLDFISH are GOOD LUCK?

In learning about Chinese New Year traditions with Abby and Noah today, I found this craft over on Family Fun  - Good-Luck Goldfish, a Chinese symbol of good fortune.

I had no idea...and everyone knows how much I LOVE Goldfish. (Click on over to read the latest newsletter from Fishful Thinking - Expressing Love. The kids and I will definitely be making a Love List for V-day!)

Here's our simplified version of these fortunate fishes along with the Chinese lanterns we made at storytime last week -

Everyone can always use a little good luck!

And speaking of fish -  the New York Times Best-Selling Mr. Fish is BACK in The Pout-Pout Fish in the Big, Big, Dark by Deborah Diesen. The story has the same rhythmic charm of the first book and is about overcoming fears with a little help from your friends.

How I love these books - such great messages about those five key ingredients of optimism, resilience, empowerment, emotional awareness, and hope! If you missed it, here's my interview with Deborah Diesen when I spotlighted her book on The Pout-Pout Fishful Thinking Thursday!

Fighting those Winter Blahs with "BORED GAMES"!

Wouldn't it be great to be a bear and hibernate through the rest of this unbelievably long winter? I am SO READY for spring. Did you hear that, Punxsutawney Phil? No shadow!!!

In the meantime, there is a whole slew of NEW activities on the Fishful Thinking site to help keep our spirits up and focus on "what is controllable" (because this cold weather stuff is definitely out of my hands). This activity seemed to CALL OUT to me -

BORED GAMES : Tired of your kids spending all of their time playing video games, i-chatting or watching television, but dread the inevitable "I’m bored" chorus (or in Noah's case - incessant whining) whenever you make them step away? Try creating a list of "Bored Games."

First, help your children explore some of the things they like to do - cooking, reading, drawing, learning to play an instrument, etc. Then, once you have a good list, put each activity on a slip of paper and place them in a "Bored Jar." When the time comes and your kids get bored, they can draw a random activity out of the jar.

Examples of Activities that reinforce Fishful Thinking:
Resilience

• Puzzles
• Stacking cups (See how long it takes to stack and unstack plastic cups in the form of a pyramid)

 (How my boy loves to stack cups!)

Emotion Awareness

• Creating knock-knock jokes (Noah loves this one too!)
• Giving mom or dad a fashion makeover (I've had a few of these already. Dad? Not so much.)

Goal Setting

• Painting
• Baking (Homemade chocolate chip cookies always brighten my day!)

Optimism

• Bake cookies for a neighbor
• Draw a picture for a grandparent or someone special
• Plan a funny surprise for one of your family members (The kids love the rubber band around the kitchen sink sprayer trick.)

Empowerment

• For curious kids: reading a mystery book (Abby is very into The Boxcar Children right now.)
• For adventuresome kids: making an indoor obstacle course

 (cardbox "tunnels" courtesy of Daddy)

Here's hoping these "bored games" keep 'em busy - at least until Valentine's Day. (What are some of your kids' favorite boredom busters?)

Grateful Sayings 2010

Last month, our family started working on individual Grateful Sayings posters (another great idea from Fishful Thinking- http://www.fishfulthinking.com/Emotional-Awareness/ActivityGratefulSayings) to share on Thanksgiving day. Like it says in the activity description, making this a month long activity really helps us remember that gratitude is something we need to express each day for all of the good things in our lives - whether they are big or small. With Christmas just around the corner (can you believe it?), I thought we'd continue to add to our gratitude posters and see if we can get the whole thing filled up - both front and back! :)

*To see our poster from last year, click here! This is definitely an activity that I'd like our family to continue to do for many Thanksgivings (and Christmases) to come!

I know, I know...I'm "such a teacher"

When I was a kid, I loved sorting through my stash of Halloween candy after a night of trick-or-treating. I'd count out all of my Snickers, Crunches, lollipops, etc...and then try to hide my bucket in my bedroom so I could dip into anytime I wanted to. Oh, that sweet tooth of mine. Must be in the DNA because now those childhood traditions have been passed on to my kids. Sure enough, as soon as we walked in from our Trunk-or-Treat on Weds. night, Abby dumped out her bucket in the middle of the living room floor and took inventory. She even counted Noah's loot. Then my inherited-sweet-tooth boy hid his bucket in his closet for two days before I realized it was missing. No wonder Noah was spending so much time in his room. Geez...

Since we're doing the homeschool thing this year, I thought I'd use the candy to our "educational advantage" and do a math activity with Abby. On Thursday morning, I had her sort through her candy again, create categories, and helped her make a simple bar graph on large tablet paper. As she sorted through those 67 pieces (which she counted exactly), we talked about words to describe the candy & wrote them on index cards for our "Adjective Word Wall" - chewy, sticky, sweet, hard, crunchy... - a little twist on the Savoring Food activity from Fishful Thinking that helps promote Emotional Awareness and Optimism:

Select various food/snacks... Eat one of the items you selected and notice all the different tastes and textures. Take turns naming out loud something you notice...Repeat this with the other foods. Take an index card and list as many attributes of the food as you can.

An activity using Halloween candy that builds math, language, and positive-thinking skills all at the same time, and it was fun too! If only all of our school activities could be like this...

Next up, I think we may need to do a lesson about SHARING Halloween candy. I swear, it was like pulling teeth to get the kids to give Mom and Dad a measly little Hershey bar.

Tossing Out that Inner Critic

Since embarking on this whole "homeschool experiment", I feel like that nagging voice inside my head - criticizing and second-guessing everything I do - has shifted into overdrive. It used to rear its ugly head from time to time telling me things like "You should really know how to sew on a button" or "That chicken you cooked was overdone" or "That laundry has been sitting there for a week - are you EVER going to put it away?" It used to be that I ignored the nagging and dismissed those things as no big deal. I've got two young kids and a husband. Never-ending laundry is part of the deal. sigh...

But over the past few months, I feel like that voice is questioning EVERYTHING - my organizational skills, my teaching skills, my parenting skills...and cooking chicken? I've completely given up. But with the other stuff? Those are things I used to feel pretty good about...not that I had mastered any of those skills by any means, but the voice wasn't there.

As I've thought about it and OVERthought about it, I've figured out that THAT is my problem. Overthinking. I've been putting way too much pressure on myself - thinking that I need to make this the best homeschool experience ever, feeling I need to justify my decision to do this to others and myself, and fearing that I'm going to let my kids down if I'm not doing some awesome activity every second of the day. It's ridiculous, I know. My kids are six and four. They are happy playing with playdough. And even though, deep down I know that - the negative chatter is still there, and it annoys the heck out of me.

So I've been trying to get rid of the "mental clutter" as it's called in the Bag It Up Resilience activity on the Fishful Thinking website. I love how these activities that are designed to build up our kids are helpful for parents to do too -

Bag it Up - You can help your child to take stock of the "mental clutter." Start by sharing an example of a negative perception that you want to get rid of. Write the perception on a slip of paper and then put it into a bag labeled "throw aways" and then toss it in the garbage. After you've given your example, ask your child to come up with examples of his or her own.

My kids are still young enough that we haven't done this activity together yet, but I wrote my own list. The idea of throwing those self-criticisms into the trash is empowering! And lately, when that inner critic starts chatting it up, that's what I've been trying to think of - balling up those negative thoughts and throwing them away. Not that self-criticism is always a bad thing. It can help us improve and be better people, but when we focus too much on the negatives and not enough on the good things we are doing, the perception we have of ourselves can get pretty out of whack.

So Ms. Self Critic - who cares if the chicken is overdone? I can make a mean batch of Rice Krispie treats any day of the week - blindfolded.

*For more on fighting that inner critic, check out this month's Fishful Thinking newsletter by Dr. Karen Reivich.

Question of the Day...

Such an awesome question was posted on the Fishful Thinking facebook page today -

What is "beautiful" about your child?

Just reading this question made me all teary-eyed. There are so many days that I wonder what I did to deserve these beautiful kiddos. They have such sweet spirits and so much love to give. I love seeing their eyes light up when they learn something new. Their laughter and smiles are contagious, and I'm grateful for each day I have with them.

A Saturday LAUGH-ternoon

Looking for something fun to do with the kids this weekend? Here's a NEW activity from Fishful Thinking that we did this past Saturday. The kids are already asking when we can do it again...

Laugh Night - We can teach our children to value and savor positive emotions by creating a ritual that shines the spotlight on a positive feeling (love,humor, inspiration, interest, gratitude, joy, serenity, hope, pride or awe.) Positive emotions not only feel good, but they fuel creativity,contribute to resilience, and strengthen relationships.

We kicked things off that afternoon by watching The Slumber Party episode from the first season of The Cosby Show - the one where Rudy has EIGHT kids sleep over, and Dr. Huxtable does the Bucking Bronco thing on his knee with each one of them. Hilarious. Abby and Noah thought it was really funny too. (How I love that show.) We made giant pancakes for dinner and used fruit to make funny faces on them.

We wore silly hats (Pat - Santa hat, me - Mickey Mouse ears, Noah - fireman hat, and Abby- K graduation cap) at the dinner table, and I even told the kids they could have a bubble blowing contest with their milk! They loved that. I couldn't resist blowing a few bubbles too. I also read them some jokes from a kids' joke book and got a couple of laughs - it was pretty cheesy. After dinner, I wrote some silly things on index cards - do the chicken dance, make a fish face, pat your head & rub your belly, etc...- and we played a game where we had to pick a card and do what it said. That was probably the highlight of the evening, well, that and an online episode of Wipe Out. I tell ya, Pat and the kids can't get enough of that show. They were cracking up.

We'll have to do it again soon, and maybe watch a funny movie next time. I can only take so much of Wipe Out. :)

Fishful Thought of the Day - Hope & Goal Setting

Hope isn’t just passively wishing and waiting for something to happen. Hope leads to the drive to set and pursue goals, take risks and initiate action. Hope fuels problem-solving and helps children develop personal strengths and social resources. Research shows that high-hope people are excited about the future and set goals for themselves. Fishful Thinking^SM gives parents tools to teach their children how to set positive goals, develop a system of appropriate rewards, and promote strategies of thinking that will enable children to go after whatever they want out of life.

Activity idea: With the school year just around the corner (or just getting started), check out this video about how to create a Goal Road Map with your child. There's a cute printout you can use too!

*For more "Fishful Thoughts", check out
the Fishful Thinking facebook page!
A new question is posted each Thursday! (How's about that?)
Add a comment & share your thoughts too!

Taking a "Long Cut"...

Hot off the presses - here's one of the latest ideas from Fishful Thinking to help families Rush Less and Live More...

You can help your family enjoy the benefits of doing less and slowing down by challenging yourself to take a few "long cuts" (the opposite of a short cut) each week.

Here are some "long cut" ideas to get you started:

• Make dough together and bake a pizza at home rather than ordering one for delivery.
• Set your To-Do list aside for an hour and use that time to read a book with your child, swing at the park, or play "Name That Cloud."
• Create a Not-To-Do list and ask family members to name one thing they won't do that day and how they will use that time instead (e.g., I won't sweep the stairs and I'll use that time to tell knock-knock jokes, or I won't make the beds and I'll use that time to have a pillow fight with my kids).

I SO need to make a Not-To-Do list. I could definitely get on board with the whole not making the bed thing. The pizza dough, on the other hand, I may have to get from the refrigerated section from the grocery store. :)

Ice Cream & Optimism

Evidently, this Sunday, July 18th is National Ice Cream Day.

How did I miss this in years gone by?

Since having my kids, ice cream has pretty much become a saving grace for me. When we lived in VA, I could call my girlfriend - after one of those days and the kids were finally in bed - and we'd make a spur of the moment ice cream run to the Brusters about a half a mile down the road. It's amazing what a giant-sized waffle cone can do for the soul.

When we moved last summer, I couldn't believe my eyes when I drove by a Brusters Ice Cream place less than two miles down the road from our new house. Oh, those tender mercies...

It's not quite the same without my late night Bruster's buddy, but the kids and I still make daytime ice cream runs now & then before Daddy gets home from work (He's lactose intolerant) so I can get my "fix". Abby and Noah actually cheer every time we pull into the parking lot. There's no doubt that they are MY kiddos.

So this Sunday, to celebrate Ice Cream Day, I found this yummy idea over on Family Fun (where else?) to make Homemade Ice Cream in a Bag. As we are shaking our sugar & cream in our bags filled with ice and salt for five minutes, I thought I'd use the time to try this new activity from Fishful Thinking and talk about things that make us HAPPY (in addition to the ice cream!) -

Pause for the Positive: Take time to talk to your children about the good things happening in their lives. Keep your questions open-ended (rather than yes/no questions) so that you create space for your child to explore the situation and discover as much as she can about what happened, what it felt like, and what she learned.

Done any Fishful Thinking lately?
Leave a comment & share. Thanks!

Last day of swimming lessons & feelin' proud!

The kids had their last swimming lesson yesterday. They thought it was pretty cool to get these certificates of participation, and since it was the last day, Abby got to jump off of the diving board TWICE! Daddy even had the day off so he got to watch too. Exciting stuff!

Noah didn't make it off the diving board this time around. The poor kid is actually getting over an ear infection so I didn't think it would be the best time to try it, but NOW he insists that he wants to do it - like Abby. We'll see if he changes his tune the next time we are at the pool.

After only five lessons, they still have a lot to learn and practice, but with those certificates in hand, they were feeling pretty proud of themselves...

Empowerment, or self-efficacy, is believing in oneself. It is knowing what your strengths are and how to use your strengths to navigate challenges and reach your goals.

Kids with a strong sense of self-efficacy are:

• better problem solvers
• less likely to become helpless
• more resilient
• more willing to try new things and take risks

*To learn more about empowering kids - listen to these! (As part of the Fishful Thinking Faculty, Cecily of Photo Story Friday and yours truly got to be a part of these Blog Talk Radio episodes - such a cool experience!)

Listen to internet radio with Fishfulthinking on Blog Talk Radio

Taking the PLUNGE!!!

Abby and Noah started swimming lessons this week. The very first day, the instructors lined them up to jump off the diving board. Yikes! I figured that's what I get for being late to swim lesson sign up. All the level ones were filled so thought we'd try the level two class. I was a little nervous about it.

"Keep your mouth closed. Plug your nose," I reminded Abby. I told the teacher that it was Abby's first time, but you wouldn't have known it. She walked right on out there and took the plunge! She was so proud of herself and thought it was the coolest thing ever.

Noah, on the other hand, would have nothing to do with it. "NO WAY!!!" he said (which was fine with me. He's still getting the hang of holding his breath.)

I wish I would have had my camera that first day - darn it. But I took this video the second day. Abby was fearless! Noah? Not so much....




Yesterday (the third class), Abby was FIRST in line -

GO ABBY!!!

Noah was still pretty hesitant, but I thought I'd try to at least get him to stand on the diving board. It took a little coaxing from the instructors, but he finally climbed up there! So cute.
I'm really not ready for him to jump off yet. It's crazy how young they have the kiddos do this. I found out that they even have them jump off in the level one class.

So, yeah...we'll be working on holding our breath longer and remembering to keep our mouth closed under the water at the pool this weekend, and maybe, he (and I) will be ready to take the plunge next week.


*Which optimism skills does your kiddo have a knack for & which ones need a boost? Take this short Fishful Thinking quiz to find out!


Hosted by Cecily